Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Dark Stick As]

Good for a start...

But needs work. The music often ends abruptly, there are too many scenes with awkward silene, the characters sometimes talk several seconds after the spoken dialogue, the voice acting is a tad lacking, the backgrounds use a rather odd focus blur effect that needs tweeking and the ending is a bit abrupt as well. But on the positive side, surprisingly good visuals for stick figures, an interesting "supernatural" storyline and a real sense of drama. Good work, but it could stand to use improvement.

[The ring of death]

At least you warned me before hand.

Not funny, not entertaining, not well drawn, not a good concept, not funny...bla bla bla. Blam.

[Safety Guide]

This has potential...but it needs work.

A lot of the humor was rather stale and immature, and most of the pop-culture references were cheesy at best. As it stands, however, it's not that bad. None of them were laugh out loud funny, but a few were good for a quick chuckle. I think if you refine it just a bit, and try to make it a bit more clever and less childish, it could be a lot funnier. Good overall effort though. The humor isn't half bad.

[Pilot movie #1]

When will you people learn?

A note to flash authors out there: Animating two guys fighting just isn't entertaining. It's just pointless to watch to guys punch and kick the crap out of each other, then have one win and gloat over his victory. I mean really, it's just BORING. It's absurdly overdone and wasn't particularly interesting to begin with. Really, you could have come up with something a lot better and more original. And get rid of the modern rock background music, it just adds to the uncreative stench this movie emits.

[House of teh Machein]

The only good Cloc k movie I've ever seen.

It didn't have those stupid robot voices, some inane serious-but-actually-"hysterical" plot, cheesy dialogue or other pointless dribble. Just some oddball characters doing oddball things in a mansion full of the dead. For a first it's VERY well done. Your Flash skills impress. Great visuals, cute story, and some nice action to boast.

Rogan-YLS responds:

Hmmm... I don't plan to use any robot voices. As for the other two, it all depends how you look at it.

[The Baby]

Intensely retarded and childish.

This felt so half assed and the humor was so grade-school. The baby's head flies off, it's used as a soccer ball and the father goes to jail. That doesn't make laugh so much as roll my eyes. There's nothing entertaining about it, and it's far too crude to even get a chuckle out of me. Lame, lame, lame. Awful use of tweening too. And the fact that you couldn't find the talent necessary to make ANY audio for this makes it even more pathetic. It should have been blammed.

Phoenix-Nights responds:

I've had sex with your mother.

[3D test]

Could use some consitency and audio.

The visuals are nice, but it goes from a solid look to a more cel shaded look and then random text scrolls across. I say, experiment with this until you have something with greater contuity and submit that. It's really nothing more than the titles states--a "test".

[A NG Parody]

Wow. That was terrible.

Nice attempt at parodying the Portal, but you failed miserably. The voices were mostly scratchy, the dialogue was inane, it was too long and drawn out, it wasn't a parody so much as a jumble of generic Portal staples, nothing about it was clever, witty, funny, or entertaining, the music was awful, etc. It really just looks crude and seems half assed.

[Jhonny:A classic is born]

Pointless, but it did catch my attention.

Mostly because the visuals were above average. Quite a bit of hand-drawn animation mixed with tweening which was sketchy but pretty fluid. Too bad the sequence of events felt a bit disorienting. There was little if any contuity and nothing about it particularly made any sense. Honestly, I can only sit there and watch people dying for so long before I just yawn and stop paying attention. This was at least somewhat interesting though because the music fit all right and the visuals were pleasing.

[The Birds]

Good for a first movie.

I've been playing with Flash lately, so I know how hard it is to do something even as simple as this. Although I saw the joke coming, it was still funny, even a bit cute. Overall, a good first effort, even if it is sticks.