Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[16-Bit VS 8-Bit]

Interesting concept, poor implementation.

First off, reading line after line of badly written dialogue gets really old after awhile. Second, it was really just way too long. Nothing about this Flash was particularly interesting--I often found myself looking around or becoming distracted. And despite being an avid fan of old school games, I just didn't find this intersting. I will admit that a few parts were clever, but it was greatly dwarfed by the rest of the movie, which felt rather pointless to watch. The visuals were also rather subpar--the sceenshots from the various video games would have looked a lot cleaner as gifs rather than jpegs. Some of the animation transitions also looked rather poor, and the vector shapes did not blend well in the pixilated video game backgrounds at all. Overall, it was a brave effort, but failed to entertain.

DuckyofAlarcon responds:

Well everyone has an opinion its just a shame that yours does not matter. Im glad you have the solution to why my flash was uninteresting! You try to sound all smart by using words that arent common like "dwarfed" - wow good ones there.And "subpar"- if in a conversation someone said subpar I would kick their ass, then piss on them.
Overall I give your review a 0 out of 10. It lost my interest and i found myself being distracted. It just failed to entertain. It was a good idea. Bashing my video cause your still working on your GED. But you just didnt follow through. Your badly written text just became a blur halway through. Overall a shitty effort. Dont every come back to newgrounds. I banish you from this land. A good note you should learn from this is to not every again write a review until you decide not to sound like you are actually intelligent unless you can finish high school like a person who is worthy to use words like subpar and dwarfed.

PS. You liked Wizard Power? ass

[MTV's TRL INA]

Possibly the longest Flash I've ever seen!

Oh man, what can I say? It was like watching an entire TV show--there was the shitty MTV news, a whole bunch of commercials, and every aspect of the awful TRL show was parodied. The various parodies--everything from the Blasphemous "The Jesus Bunch" to the appearance of GWAR was hilarious. The "Linus Park" and "Suk 41" videos were a bit lacking in my opinion, but they were easily forgiveable since there was so much going on. I loved how this cartoon kept going and going, since it wasn't long and drawn out and kept introducing new material. You even had an American Idol satire at the beginning which could have been a seperate Flash entry in itself. This is truly on hell of a movie, with great visuals, hilarious voice acting, excellent parodies and humor that dips into immaturity while keeping an adult edge.

[Handy Work]

Amusing, even though the ending was a bit lacking.

I didn't know what to expect though, since I haven't yet watched any other "Perfect Kirby" movies. It was pretty funny though, especially the way most of the male character's dialogue was nonsensical noises. His mannerisms were pretty humorous too, especially his "kung fu" move at the end. I was also impressed by the extremely smooth animation and nicely rendered characters. Overall, good for a few laughs.

PS: Is that the Perfect Dark chick who smashes his face in at the end?

Pikanjo responds:

Yeah, Joanna Dark.

[Itchy & Scratchy 1]

Nothing special, but nicely done.

It felt really awkward to watch it, to be honest. The lack of background music, the only occasional use of sound and the way the characted carried themselves was bizarre. But overall, this entry delivered what it promised--and Itchy and Scratchy cartoon with gratuitous violence. I think I was perhaps most impressed by the visuals, which were clean and smooth, with nice background detail.

[Army of Darkness Flash]

Somewhat decent effort...but completely unoriginal

The only thing I admire about this entry were the visuals. I could tell that Josh was trying his best, though it could stand to use some work (well, a LOT of work). Ash was drawn from various angles and looks completely different each time, and some of the tweening just looked awkward, not to mention the scene transitions were harsh and disorienting. Also, what was the point in attempting to recreate Army of Darkness? Why remake something? You'd think he'd do a parody, but seeing as AOD is a comedy/horror movie, making a satirical Flash out of it woldn't make much sense. And as addy_s pointed out, it ends far too abruptly. And to those who haven't seen AOD, none of this will make any sense. It should also be noted that hardly any of the audio seems to fit at all.

[Blue or red pill??]

A worthy parody of The Matrix!

I already knew that something strange was going to happen if Neo took the red pill, but I never anticipated what Morpheus would have to say. Quite clever and funny how you parodied the strangeness of the situation Neo was placed in. It was short, sweet and to the point, without any unnecessary dialogue or drawn out scenes. I also loved the visual style--you captured everyone's look perfectly (especially that of Laurence Fishburne and his tooth gap). The way you represented Neo hullucinating was nicely done as well. Voice acting was a tad monotonous but very decent overall.

[The Secret Speech]

Clever, funny and offensive.

I myself wansn't personally offended, but I can see how others would be, which is part of the reason I enjoyed this so much. It's absurdly anti-patriotic and the way Bush's words were manipulated to make him sound like a rambling madman bent on choas was a great twist. I'm gonna agree with arousedfrenchfry (wait, I mean arousedFREEDOMfry) that it was a bit tedious at times, but it was quite entertaining overall. I especially appreciated the slick visuals--the lip synching was perfect and the idea of Bush holding a Pikachu doll with a broken eye was a real riot! Keep up the good work. Very original.

[The Unluckiest Worm]

Short and cute.

This was a great movie. Up until the rather bizarre endning it the humor was rather sadistic while at the same time had you feeling sorry for the worm. He just couldn't get a break! Great stuff, and although it's evident LovablePsycho is an amatuer at Flash, he used subtle but effective visuals and transitions to create a pleasing, well thought-out piece. I really like the the last day, when everything came crashing down at once and the worm popped out a litle umbrella. Cute!

[Seinfeld II]

Disturbing on so many levels.

I honestly didn't know what to expect. Those images wil stay in my head a long, long time and I have you to thank. However, it was funny. Funny in the sense that it was spontaneous, repulsive and just fucking odd. I don't know what else to say. A waste of time? Yes. But an ENTERTAINING waste of time.

[Wizard Power]

What the fuck?

I can't for the life of me understand what possibly possessed Neil Cicierega do make this Flash movie, or for Polysics to make the music that accompanies this piece. But I loved it. It was absolute insanity. Essentially, it was dozens if not hundreds of random images from the internet, all scattered throughout a music video of sorts while somehow retaining a sense of coherency. The extremely bizarre, pulsating animation and randomness of everything in Wizard Power kept me watching until the very end. If you have an open mind, you'll enjoy the hell out of this.