Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Takin my Doggy for a Walk]

What the flying fucking fucks?

This was horrible. I don't care if you were trying to make it look like a little kid drew it (and if you weren't, that's just sad), stick drawings are really, really, really fucking lame. Also, I couldn't understand that kid's fucking voice worth for shit. It was horribly high pitched and squealy. Whatever was going on, it failed to capture my interest. Even if I could understand the dialogue I doubt I'd hae given this any better a review. Bad concept and completely retarded execution. Good job, moron.

[The F Word]

Completely un-fucking-original.

I mean, for fuck's sake, buddy, this has been done into the ground. Anyone remember the AWFUL "History of Fuck!" movie? This was actually a lot better, the author's flash skills are more polished than the author of the previously mentioned movie, and many of the photos that accomponied the narration fit perfectly, and even got a chuckle out of me. But really, this sound file has been on the internet for years and most of us are tired of it. And it really has that "pubescent appeal" to it--at age 18, I don't really giggle at an uptight British guy saying the word "fuck" with the utmost dignity anymore. But I didn't give it a zero because it manages to be somewhat clever and humorour, and a decent amount of effort was put into it. My only quarrels are that, again, this has been done to death, and some of the jpg's looked pretty bad.

[Super Mario Jackass]

Needs work. Looootttttssss of work.

It's actually a pretty funny concept but you didn't implement it very well. The little intro is sloppy as hell and it just felt like you did "whatever", just pasting on scene after scene without realy thinking it through. I think you should really work on it and carefully plan out each scene, then jack up the framerate. Maybe then you'll have something. Because to be honest, nothing here was particularly funny and the emulated visuals were poorly implemented.

[Parachute!]

Impressive.

Although I'm not quite sure why drank. Sherbalex assured me it was becsause "I needed to fill time". Which makes it even funnier! Overall this was some effort. The simple but fluidly animated characters and colorful backgrounds perfectly compliment the Ren & Stimpy style music. The end was totally brtual and showed Sherb's sadistic side. My only complaint was that the bits of text at the very end went by waaaay too fast.

[Simpsons Parodies]

Oh, please.

He took that stupid remix song that everyone can get off of kazaa in five minutes, then added a bunch of random Simpsons pictures on the internet, turning it into a half assed slideshow. Why are you voting high on this?

[Amburgers and Wootbeer!]

Hahaha, what the fuck was this?

As stupid as it was I didn't think it deserved to be blammed. Even though I couldn't understand 3/4 of what that damn squeaky bear was saying, it was so awful it was actually hilarious. The poor animation and use of real pictures was a nice touch. Not bad for an old movie, I think if you work on this a bit it can really go places.

Jonneh responds:

ahh, well you probably couldn't hear what the bear was saying because I cut the quality down to the lowest to make it quick loading. You can get a higher quality version on my site if you want to try and hear what he's saying, that is if you wanted :P

[Evil Barney: Bus Driver]

Hilarious audio, awful movie.

Let's face it, kid. You really can't draw or animate worth a crap. The audio (which obviously wasn't yours) is GREAT, but this is just a waste of time. I wouldn't suggest trying something this ambitious if you don't have the proper skills.