Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Clock Hill]

Terrible in every way possible.

If the appeal is supposed to be in the humor, then lackluster visuals can be overlooked. But this was simply unacceptable. You obviously have little Flash skills, as pictures would pop in and out of the frame, and there were very poorly implemented, sloppy as hell transitions. None of the images were actually drawn by you and you didn't even bother to cutout the white boxes around them. As for the humor? What humor? The dialogue was random and completely unfunny, and the quiz, which wasn't so much a quiz but three questions and a button that lets you see three answers, was completely unnecessary and had nothing to do with the movie. This was a terrible idea to begin with and a terrible flash littered with bad visuals, unfunny dialogue and out of place music.

Ps2brain responds:

Wow. Im amazed that a person with only one flash and its score is a 2.10 when 2 of MY movies are in the 2.7's and 2.8s.

[an old animation]

Good animation, but I'm voting zero because...

This is just an intro to a website, which does not belong on Newgrounds. The Portal is not a dump for tests, experiments or intros. While the author is not explicitly advertising his site in this movie, it obviously has no place on here. I would be more empathetic if this were a movie where the animation actually served a purpose, but the fact is it's not really a "movie", no matter how entertaining it might be.

JESTERanimations responds:

this isnt an intro - i dont even have a site! besides... its better than most movies [from what ive seen]. PLUS i needed to show my friend but i have a firewall!!!

[NG Series War]

Very, very average.

There wasn't much to this movie. A bunch of visual references to various NG icons such as Pico, one of those damned clocks, Sonic, Eskimo Bob, etc., some overly epic "battle music" and several fierce fightscenes. To me it was just mediocre. Nothing about this stood out and nothing about it was particularly original. It wasn't humorours, serious, action-packed or entertaining. It was presented nicely and for someone with less than a month's experience, it has nice flow and direction, but feels pointless, is easily forgettable and doesn't necessitate a second viewing. I have to say though, the visuals were nice.

mooseproduce responds:

"the visuals were nice?" what the hell did you think i was making, Shakespeare?
...jackass.

[Boltgun's PS 1]

I have yet to view a good Clock movie.

I saw one ONCE, an it wasn't even made by a member of the Clock Crew (hence it being a decent submission). This is just sad and remarkably bad. Okay, so a gun chanting the word "13" tricks a fucking animate pile of jello with a clock visage into falling down a hole, then begins chanting the word "14". Real clever there. Nonsense can be funny, but not when execured in a manner quite as pointless and retarded as this.

Boltgun responds:

Hello, Mr.-I'm-so-beatiful-that-I-can-bitch-everyone-about-nothing !
After seeing your incredible reviews, that came from your so fantastic intellect, I was thinking about you having a big trouble... It's your epic superiority complex making you so proud of yourself that you can't do anything else than writing loooong reviews about what you didn't liked in the movie who DARED appear on your heavenly eyes.
No really, you doesn't love anything, sux 2 B you.

[Sonic's Flash Music Video]

I can excuse you being new at Flash...

But not for the manner in which this was presented. First off, the dialogue was beyond terrible. None of the characters had anything interesting to say; it's like you just typed in whatever "sounded funny at the time". It's completely inane and childish, and not even remotely funny. The dialogue is so crude it was often painful to read, which made me glad most of it went by absurdly fast. The actual animation was also complete crap, as chracters just slid around and did random bullshit that was made you beg for the movie to end as soon as possible. Random shooting, humping and exploding is what most of this "video" consisted of, making it one of the lamest attempts to inserting sprites into a Flash movie yet. The music was also terrible and didn't fit in the slightest. This is just sloppy beyond comprehension.

ZoDy999 responds:

I'm glad you've said my animation was crappy and stuff since now I can improve on my work, but why u dissing my work with all ur grammar woman!?Thanks for doing what the end of my flash said too...in a way u didn't make me feel bad but giving me a 0 for all my 2 day work cheap ass flash, you've actually made me feel quite happy...oh well,I'm just gonna strech this letter too take space on your screen!Mwah-ha-ha....ha...huh....































































































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[After Effects Of Pierre]

This needs work. A loooooot of work.

For starters, there is NO consitency with either the dialogue OR the artwork. It seems to switch from still photos to hand-drawn. You should really stick with one or the other, or learn to combine them more seamlessly. The dialogue should also be nothing but voice-overs, or nothing but captions. Also, the movie as a whole was very disorienting. The rambling Pierre was difficult to understand and some of Yoda's dialoue went by too fast to read. There's potential here, but the movie as a whole seems to stumble about as drunkenly as Pierre does.

Grizzam responds:

"but the movie as a whole seems to stumble about as drunkenly as Pierre does." haha i love it... A)its all handrawn except for his "hallucination" B)I already asked and am actually waiting until 11pm (my time) to get the guy to do yodas voice so no text at all
C)Pierres french-american, what do you expect?

[HO-NEH]

I've seen a few animutations in my time...

And this is easily the worst. Piss poor, extremely basic visuals that barely went to the music, which was very tame and uncatchy. Nothing about this was entertaining and there's not one redeeming value. Sorry man, but this was a very poor effort.

RaNcIdPsYcHoJoSh responds:

Goddammit, extremely basic visuals are the whole point of making an animutation, and what the hell are you talking about? The graphics easily flowed to the music, your computer must just suck ass or something. And don't blame ME for the quality of the song.

[Too Short Shorts]

Interesting, if not somehwat pointless.

And slightly retarded. It was kind of odd clicking on a button and seeing the title of a movie, wondering what it was going to be, just to watch some weird man slap himself in the face. But yet it was kind of interesting, because instead of one pointless cartoon, we get FIVE! I'm not being sarcastic here either, it's an interesting concept. These random little shorts leave a lot to be desired, however, as they don't particularly go anywhere or have relevance to anything. You obviously have skill though, both you and your friend (though I can see where some areas need fine tuning). I think if you work on a solid idea, you'll have something with more substance.

leo-2002 responds:

Why thank you, that's the most encouraging review I have gotten yet! I thought this would be an orignial idea, becasue I had 3 short movies on my desktop and I knew if I sent them in one at a time, they would each get blammed. So, I made this movie with a little help from my friend :)