The "cheese factor" is through the roof.
I don't think I can even begin to commenton where you went wrong. If this is the best you can do, perhaps Flash isn't your thing. Your poor puncuation forgiveable, but you really should hae put more thought and effort into the storyline. I mean, there ISN'T one. It sort of just jumps all over the place, as if you made it up as you went along. It also really made no sense that there was suddenly spoken dialogue in the middle of the film, while the rest was captioned. There is also little, if no consitency with the artwork, which was just terrible. You simply slid crude, childish drawings back and forth and occasionally rotated them. You really too much on symbolism, which is waht many people who have no artistic talent do, and it shows plainly here. The choice of music was also very poor as it felt extremely out of place. You're really going to have to work on your skills as an artist, as a writer, as well as your Flash skills.