Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Phone Survey]

A bit bland, though somewhat humorous.

I think it was a poor choice to involve the Clock Crew in this piece, but it was entertaining to some extent. The probing, embarassing questions and Tom's short, montonous answers are chuckle worthy, and the dialogue wasn't bad. I don't see myself watching it a second time, however, as it's a bit difficult to sit through (being that both characters have extremely flat voices), and most of the humor is pretty juvenille. Good effort though, with decent visuals and humorous (albeit mostly immature) dialogue.

[Hostile]

Nothing I haven't seen before.

But I have to admit, everything about this was outstanding, for the most part. Despite being a stick movie, you managed to make fluid, believable animation, and the use of monotone visuals but red blood was very effective and made for good contrast. Unfortunately, being afflicted with ADD, I was not able to keep up with the storyline, despite it being only six minues long. It did seem well conceived, however, and a lot of thought was put into making this a coherent, exciting, interesting story. On the whole, however, it's just mediocre. I rarely, if ever, find serious stick movies such as this one entertaining, and I don't particularly find action sequences with killing, stealth and whatnot interesting. I've also seen movies like this dozens of times before, though rarely with the professional look of this one. Keep up the good work, however, as there are lots of people who do like this kind of movie. All I would suggest is work on the somewhat empty voice acting, and take a look at that perspective movie on NG to get a better feel for the look of the buildings.

[The Eminem Show (Parody)]

If you voted more than a zero on this...

Well, you might as well be entertained by running into a brick wall teeth first, while wearing braces. This was so fucking terrible, I can't imagine how the author didn't look at his work while making it and decide, "Maybe I should stop before I make a complete ass of myself by finishing this." The visuals were beyond horrible. The bitmap traced characters had crudely drawn, distorted bodies, and popped in and out of the scene. The mouth movement was absolutely pathetic, and the fact that Eminem was being sodimized at a concert was just stupid. The audio was great, but you didn't make it. This was just a cheap, piss poor attempt at creating a video for it, and you failed on every single level. This was completely unoriginal, and you ruined any chance of showing any potential. Let's hope a Flash artist with actual talent makes a worthy parody.

[Head Trip]

Bizarre...has potential...needs LOTS of work.

First off, learn to tween. Tweening is essential in Flash if you're not doing frame-by-frame animation. The wobbly, choppy motion of this piece was almost unbearable. You should also try to refine your art skills. While it didn't look completely abysmal, the artwork was very sloppy, with undefined backgrounds and a somehwhat random placement of circled and squares. The music was also vastly out of place. Something a bit more ambient or fierce sounding would have been more appropriate. As it stands, though, the trippy and peculiar manner in which this was executed was interesting. Work on these flaws I mentioned and you'll have something worth a second watch.

[Newgrounds 101]

This serves no freakin' purpose.

As BrianBoitanoInc stated, NG has been around for over a decade, and has been under the name "Newgrounds" since about 1995. Second, the whole concept behind this was lame beyond belief. The website itself gives you a clear explanation of the portal and experience points, there is absolutely no need to make a movie out of it. It's also clear you not only put next to no effort into this movie, but what little there was is damn sloppy. Spelling mistakes are rampant, the Boston Pops' rendition of Super Mario is entirely out of place, and the movie itself consists mostly of black text against a plain white background. This is awful, awful stuff. Also, you have to be pretty dense, Mopie, to draw a mouse with the wire sticking out of the wrong end.

[BEEBO Part 7]

Boy, that was fuckin' bizarre.

But entertaining as hell, just like the other Beebos. I found the pacing to be a little slow, and the humor wasn't quite as sporatic as previous movies, but the fact that it's a seventh Beebo compensates for that. I loved the wobbly, funky animation and the absurd voice acting (especially that of the Viet Cong). I think this has been one of the better series on NG. It's managed to retain its coherency despite going off in the deep end (starting with their unexpected visit to Heaven), and the visuals have been gradually improving with each new episode. I don't know what else to say except keep up the good work!

[an old animation]

Good animation, but I'm voting zero because...

This is just an intro to a website, which does not belong on Newgrounds. The Portal is not a dump for tests, experiments or intros. While the author is not explicitly advertising his site in this movie, it obviously has no place on here. I would be more empathetic if this were a movie where the animation actually served a purpose, but the fact is it's not really a "movie", no matter how entertaining it might be.

JESTERanimations responds:

this isnt an intro - i dont even have a site! besides... its better than most movies [from what ive seen]. PLUS i needed to show my friend but i have a firewall!!!

[BuLLEt PRoofE]

Devoid of entertainment.

Sorry, but I can'd find stuff like this aesthetically pleasing. The appeal is the 3-D ish visuals, but it becomes old rather quickly when the movie is as random and directionless as this. Everything feels slapped together, with the camera swirling around randomly, unecessary motion blurs distorting the lines, and mindless violence that has no meaning or reason behind. Just another typical stick movie with a bit of 3-D animation. By the way I severely doubt he drew that car, anyone who can render a 3-D car of that detail obviously wouldn't be doing little "test" animations like this, especially not ones involving sticks.

[MMX: Dawn of War Part I]

Terrible beyond comprehension.

This felt so slapped together that it gives me a headache to ponder why Doop48 even submitted this. He obviously has very little Flash skills and made this movie as more of an experiment than anything else. Nothing is consistent or makes any sense, and the dialogue ranges from pointless to juvenille. The video game backgrounds used were too large and looked awful, and the one background that was actually drawn was nearly devoid of detail. Nothing about this is ineresting or redeeming, it's just another cluttered, poorly executed sprite movie with boring fight sequences and totally unoriginal, half-baked "plots".