Goatlord's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Point Perspective Tutor]

Extremely helpful and informative.

And not just for Flash, either. Anyone who struggles with perspective can get a better idea on it thanks to this helpful (if not a tad overwhelming for beginners) tutorial. Although I myself am an artist and am already aware of those two basic perspective techniques, it was still interesting to read, because I was able to analyze how well the author is able to put things in words to help others. The visuals were very simple and effective, and like mentioned in the description, those that may not find the tutorial hepful will at least find the gas station render interesting.

[Friendly Stick]

Crude and boring.

Wow, big deal. The stick guy smiles, gets hurt, the end. This is absolutely retarded. The music was great, and that's it. Really, you need to work on your Flash and writing skills. This appears to have no tweening, the artwork is very basic and symbolic, the captions seem robotic and forced, the story was laughable and the humor extremely stale. Not to mention that you didn't compress the mp3 used at all, and didn't bother to cut it off when the movie ended instead of letting it play the whole way through.

[peacefull]

Depressing, if not a bit confusing.

What exactly was the point of this piece? Not that I felt like I wasted my time, but it seemed like the message behind it got lost in the animation. It was really cute though and even made me a bit teary eyed (perhaps it was the plush doll-like depiction of the animals). Overall, despite the simple visuals and short life of the movie, it managed to strike a chord.

[party time- Iraq]

Lame attempt at political humor.

Really, this was nothing but a jumble of pictures depicting the recent war in Iraq and random images of Bush, Saddam and whatnot. It felt incoherent and there seemed to be little contuity from one scene to the next. Most of the animation had a "What was the point?" vibe to it while others just made me want to roll my eyes or hope no would caught me watching it out of embarassment. Overall, the visuals were not awful, but could certainly use some work in the animation department. Honestly, you should really plan something like this out before putting it all together. It feels half finished and poorly executed.

[(k)SikDeath-Episode1]

Disorienting and unbearable.

If you asked what tweening and actionscript are in your description, perhaps you should practice more with Flash before submitting anything else. This movie was just an incoherent mess of lines and stick bleeding and blowing the crap out of one another. Not every Flash movie has to have a plot, but it at least has to entertain on some level, which this did not.

[3D Abstract Animation]

Uninteresting and with little effort.

Honestly, what is this? I love abstract artwork, but this hardly screams abstract. It's just a bundle of polygons that sort of inflate and contract. It's a big, blueish green mess and the entire animation is about two seconds. For about 830kb, that's really awful compression. It seems like you just spent a few minutes putting random crap together in a 3-D program you know next to nothing about, animated it exported it as a series of bitmaps or a really big animated gif. Either way, this isn't visually stimulating at all, which was the intended purpose.

[Bad Boy Mario Bros.]

Why is this still here?

Awful fucking visuals, feels lazy and half-assed, terribly written dialogue, stupid, goes-nowhere concept, inane humor, completely amatuer. This is just awful. Why does anyone vote more than a "0" on this? It should have been blammed.

[how to draw anime girls]

Too long and drawn out.

I know Bob Ross tends to be rather patient and lengthy when he paints and narrates, but this was just TOO long. The happy face thing had quite a few uneccessary pauses, not to mention he was almost inaudible--honestly, that was a terrible voice to use and I motly heard mumbling (not to mention the lip synching was off and made the whole thing slightly disorienting). The humor was also quite crude and juvenille. All in all, it was a good effort, but I didn't find it interesting.

[damn cricket!!]

I'm still gonna blam it.

There was one sound in the whole thing, it was pointless, boring, stupid concept, not entertaining at all, waste of time. Need I go on? Nice visuals though.

[Sculy screen saver flash]

Okay, no.

Screensaver Flash entries do not belong on Newgrounds. This is not remotely entertaining in the least bit. Poorly drawn fan art of Scully from the X-Files against a black background and that horrid, annoying intro make for one fucking waste of time.