Goatlord's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Watch out george]

What a piece of crap.

There's no loading or intro screen, it just begins immediately. This type of game has been done to death and being that it's utterly simplistic it wears thin really quickly. Poor visuals and crappy cluttered on screen objects just worsen things. Also, every time you die, the music starts over but you can still hear the previous loop playing, causing an annoying overlap. It's pretty evident that not much effort was put into this one.

[NG pop Quiz]

Lamest. Quiz. Ever.

Okay, not only was the scoring horribly flawed, but there's only five questions, there's no level of difficulty, and you used the worst song ever as the background music. The idea is...somewhat original but this entry is extremely lacking. Work on it.

[Create a Sonic Scene!]

It's all right.

I think if you add more interactive elements it would be pretty cool. For instance, maybe you could have an animated Sonic run around the scene after you finish making it (perhaps allow the player to control him), and perhaps add some rings for him to collect, etc. That would take a lot of programming though. Still, it would be pretty cool! Anyway, I saw a Super Mario World version of this awhile back and it wasn't half bad, this one isn't either. Add some more interactive elements and I think it'll have more replay value.

Ps: NEVER USE RED AGAINST BLUE AGAIN! Very hard on the yes.

[spining cube!!!!]

I can't fucking believe this didn't get blammed.

I mean, it's a goddamn spinning cube. The file size is nearly two megs because the author did not compress the music for shit. Wow, it's green, there's pretty lights going across the lines, and you can spin it. Big fucking whoop. This is neat for a little test, but leave it on your desktop, don't submit it to NG. The people responsible for getting this a score of 2.25 (as of today) are fucking morons.

NGmaster responds:

LETS SEE YOU MAKE A MOVIE HUH?!!

[the skullkid]

Mindless, gory fun!

I liked this. Simple controls and straightforward gameplay. Despite that the game was barely challenging, it was fun just walking around, sawing stuff in half and spilling the blood of the innocent. Great stuff. Although it was a good length for a Flash game, I think it could have used an extra level or two, such as an extra helping of shootouts (and possibly even being able to collect the weapons of those you kill). I also felt that Skullkid walked too slowly. But other than those minor shortcomings, this was a fun game with appropriately out of place ska music and senseless violence. Good effort!

[Pubert!]

Grotesque, fun, and yet somehow "cute".

This game reminds me of "potty humor" style gamesl like Earthworm Jim and Boogerman, except ten times grosser. The idea of picking up pubes after vagina and testicle shaped enemies is nearly stomach churning, yet hilarious and fun! It's simple but has that Pac-Man addiction: one screen levels where the only controls are movement. I found the game to become intensely frustrating by level five, however, which is damn near impossible to beat. With no power-ups to defend yourself with, and enemies that constantly respawn, you basically just keep cleaning up more and more pubes and can never beat the level. Not to mention that the game throws a lot of cheap shots at you the enemies will almost "ambush" you from above within seconds of gameplay, killing you. But despite its shortcomings, it's an addictive and original game and for a demo it looks and plays quite nice.

[Valentine Smoochie]

Excellent mix of violence and sickening cuteness.

I love this. These shorts hit the nail on the fucking coffin. It's a perfect mix of humor, violence and great visuals. What more can I say? I really think it's genious how people can take something that's revoltingly cute, and yet make it morbidly violent. Although these toons are tragically short, they're fun to watch again and again, particularly with a friend who hasn't seen it before. These are destines to be classics.